MegaSuperstar For All Seasons

 

Four thirty in the morning was an ungodly hour for a child to be up and about, but when you were about to see Vilma Santos, the Star for All Seasons and Grand Slam Best Actress, perform her signature dance moves on a Sunday Variety Show to promote her newest drama extravaganza about a dying woman with cancer in the arms of a handsome leading man, waking up to the crow of the roosters was worth the effort of losing sleep and being starved of a decent breakfast.  

That was our call time, four-thirty in the morning, at the plaza of our hometown.  We were supposed to wait for our bus that would take us to the great city of Manila.  I was not supposed to be a part of this trip as this was meant for the teachers of our elementary school- their “field trip” (see the open and close quotation marks?).  We called any activity that had a group of school people riding a bus to the big city on a weekday as field trips or educational tours, regardless if its educational or not, or if we were to see a “field” or an astrodome.  As long as the highlight and culmination of the trip was shopping at the big department store, which in later years replaced by going to a Christmas Theme Park and torturing yourself on a cheap roller coaster ride until you turned blue, it was a legit field trip. 

When the bus arrived, we were surprised to see that it was not air-conditioned.  So we were about to  be exposed into the pollutants of Manila and brace ourselves for the onslaught of Chernobyl-like air quality of the city.  In Manila, if you spend a few minutes outside, your booger turns into the color of charcoal.  And when you exfoliate, which is a must for living there, you will need three times the power of sulfuric acid to remove the grime off your face brought about by the polluted city.  And by the time this tour would be finished, we may have some form of cancer on the body parts that were exposed to the atmosphere.  

My mom was my chaperone.  Actually, she was the one who was part of the tour.  I was only her tag-along because she was friends with my teacher who was joining the tour group, and since we didn’t have classes, I asked her if I could join so I’d be able troop to the toy section of the department store and buy myself the new Thundercats action figure I saw on TV using my life savings. 

The two-hour bus ride to Manila was uneventful.  Aside from a few kids throwing up on plastic bags, the travel was tolerable.   I was never “land-sick” with bus commutes but it always surprised me that a quarter of my classmates would have this ritual of dry heaving, to retching, and to finally removing their abdominal contents every time we were on these educational tours due to the vibration from the transportation or as they said, from the scent that was emanating from the AC, made worse by that dangling pine tree trinket in front of the vent creating a fake White Christmas feel on the most unusual place in the planet- a tropical country smack close to the equator.  Luckily, there was no AC on our bus.  Our form of ventilation was the strong gush of wind flapping unto our faces while we travel at the speed of 60 miles per hour. 

I slept most of the way.  I could squeeze in my little body in any form within the confines of the small booth of the bus.  Comfort was least of my priorities.  My main goal was to get to my dream toy at the end of the day. 

But what was frustrating about this trip was that half of the time, we were in line just to be able to watch this TV program on live stage.  It’s like waiting in line to get in another line.  First, we waited an hour outside the building, then, once we were ushered in through the main gate, we lingered for another hour before making it into the studio. 

When we got inside, our seats were terrible- the nosebleed section, like I even cared to have a good view of a production number wherein the singing was taped and the dancing was like a bad high school performance in the 90’s (except for Ate Vi, of course, she was unparalleled), but to wait too long and be granted a measly reward with what they called a “Supershow”, this was somewhat irritating. 

The orchestra seats were saved for Ate Vi’s fan club and people with connections.  We were neither.  They considered us as seat fillers to make the show looked very lively, entertaining and populated.  However, one of the teachers, the smallest in the group, made it to the front.  I’m pretty sure that she was not a member of the fan club nor she knew anybody from the show.  It was sheer luck, guts and size that made her sneak past the ushers into the front of the studio without catching anyone’s attention.  She was 4’11”.  

 

I did not realize how epic this particular episode was until much later in life.  I may have made fun of it then but in hindsight, I was watching one of the most star-studded shows in the history of Philippine television, like a Christmas special but only, it was in the middle of summer, and the Santa Claus was not a white stocky guy who ho-ho-ho’s at the end of every sentence but a movie superstar dressed in glitter like the lights of the milky way.  

Perhaps at the time, most of the people involved in the program were mere starlets with teased hair twice the height of their high heels and shoulder pads three-folds the girth of an armored suit.  The only stellar presence there for me at that tender age of 11 was Ate Vi, the epitome of a Filipina Wonder Woman.  The one and only Darna (“Ding, ang bato!”).  She might not be the original Darna but she commanded presence.   She was a legend.  She had been a legend for centuries by that point and she is still pushing that legendary status for a few more millennia. 

Ate Vi does not age. She covers her wrinkles using a scarf wrapped around her neck as if it is her Achilles’ heels (in this case, her cervical region and the waddles around it).  I don’t blame her.  She looks amazing and can still have Joshua Garcia as her leading man and call him her 3^rd husband.  First and second husband maybe pushing it a bit. 

 

This movie she was promoting was Pahiram ng Isang Umaga, which translated to Borrowing One Morning.  This was because she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and about to die in the most cinematic fashion.  But before she got to that climax, she needed to piss-off a few people along the way to create tension so the fans who watched the movie did not feel cheated.  They needed to see her signature series of screams in different pitches and the waterworks produced by her tear ducts before she kicked the bucket.  It was immaculate. 

Having said that, she won the Best Actress Gawad Urian for the role.  Urian was a highly respected award giving body composed by a number of snobby critics rating the movies based on a solar system scale.  One to Five stars, depending on the intensity of their star quality.  She did not win the Filipino Oscars equivalent (FAMAS) at the time because she might have been elevated to the Hall of Fame status already.  That was how great she was as an actress.  They disqualified her so she could not win anymore.  It was like telling Meryl Streep to stop acting because everyone wanted to give others a chance at the podium. 

The movie also won Best Picture and Best Director.  The director was Ishmael Bernal.  For chrissakes, Bernal- the same person who directed Himala.  Do I need to say more?  Okay, I rest my case then. 

You know who else was there?  Billy Joe Crawford.  He played Ate Vi’s son in the movie.  He was a little cute fireball when he was younger with this apple cut of a hairstyle that resembled an inverted fruit bowl which, for a mestizo like him, looked adorable.  If I had that same hairstyle when I was his age, I’d be mistaken for a coffee table.  During his teens, he became a big deal in France.  It’s about the same time when the Spice Girls were conquering the (spice) world.  Now Billy Joe, who eventually dropped the Joe from his moniker, is relegated to a third-rate noontime show which I believe is about to be axed as of press time.  But then again, look what happened to the Spice Girls.  They are either contestants in a reality dancing competition or just a big reminder that anyone who knows them are old, like an Old Spice. 

 

This was also the same episode where Lea Salonga celebrated her 18^th birthday.  Lea, for those of you who are either non-Filipinos or belong to the group who flips over their graves even if you are not yet dead with the mere mention of musical theater, is a celebrated Tony and Olivier award winning actress who originated the role of Kim in Miss Saigon.  To best describe her in layman’s term, she is the singing voice of Princess Jasmine and Mulan from the Disney classics. 

Lea, was not a superstar then.  Her 18^th birthday celebration at the show was an afterthought, ironically smacked in the middle of the program where everyone was being lulled to sleep.  It was also a send-off party for her before she flew to London to do her Miss Saigon stint.  We had no idea what was Miss Saigon.  We thought it was a new Pho place opening in the posh section of Manila.  Nor we were unaware of the great things she was about to do in a few months.  Her talent and her big break were glossed over until the elites of West End pointed out that she had the voice of an angel, so pure an Atheist could be qualified to exorcise Linda Blair.  That’s how powerful her singing was.  In fact, her crush, Richard Reynoso, serenaded her with a song just to bring in the romance factor into the show and perhaps into her emotions to make the segment palatable to the fans who were waiting, not for her, but for Ate Vi.  Of course, the studio audience lapped up all the pretend-sweetness that unfolded live unto the stage.  No one knew.  Lea was bound for stardom.  Only a few people were aware and Richard was not one of them.  Where is Richard Reynoso now?  Probably laying down in his house sofa, watching You Tube videos of Miss Saigon, wishing that somehow he proposed to Lea right there and then when he was trying to be cute in front of her.  Too late.  She is slated to have a recurring role in a new HBO Max series. 

 

Those above-mentioned people were the heavyweights that appeared on that particular episode of a then popular variety show.  But there were other stars that I think worth mentioning. 

 

Eric Quizon, the son of the late great legendary comedian Dolphy, played Ariel, Ate Vi’s love interest in the movie who was the aforementioned leading man that became the human deathbed on the beach. 

Gabby Concepcion, the ex-husband of Megastar Sharon Cuneta.  He played the other male lead opposite Eric to whom tension was created to make the movie interesting.  I’d like to point out the term, Megastar, now that I’d mentioned it.  We (meaning Philippine showbiz and the hordes of fans who follow along blindly) liked attaching an adjective before or after the word “star” to make a new and valid term as a title to accomplished actresses.  The term maybe nonsensical like Diamond Star (alluded to Maricel Soriano) but it was embraced by everyone, like having people believe you’re Cruella De Ville for Halloween just by throwing around a bathroom rug as a cape.  Now you’d think that if there is a Diamond Star, there can be a Topaz or Quartz star somewhere.  They have yet to be discovered. As to the magnitude of their star quality, we have yet to know. 

 

The socialite Gretchen Baretto was a regular co-host there too.  She didn’t do much.  She and Jean Garcia only screamed at the party games played by willing contestants who won either a basket of Chinese Hair Dyes or a tub of lard because the companies who made them were the major sponsors of the show. 

 

Then there was Jean “Miss Minchin”/ “Claudia Buenavista” Garcia.  Her hair was so high it doubled as a scaffold for the spotlights.  You could have climbed the top of it and see the rival network’s studio across the street.  She projected herself as sweet, innocent and very girly at the time but we all knew too well that her jaw line was meant to torment female leads that didn’t know how to fight back and her stare was the right amount of intensity to make Medusa shiver in her sheets. 

 

We took pictures.  All twenty-four of them, as we only had one roll of film.  We wasted all of it on people we barely knew.  Not that we didn’t know who were on stage, we saw them almost every Sunday on the boob tube.  But knowing movie stars felt very disconnected.  We could have taken photos of myself coming down from a slide at Nayong Pilipino.  Or like when my friend was busy retching her guts out on a flower bed from too much sickness of the travel.  Or the time while we were slumped on the Luneta grounds eating a very late lunch of adobo with egg and Coke in can, which only came out during this special occasion.    When the pictures developed, a term which we no longer use to refer to photos , the actors and actresses were the size of fleas on a stage lit up with orange or yellow hues because of the bright spotlights of the studio.  We had no idea that it would come out that way.  The only thing we could identify was Jean Garcia’s skyscraper of a hair and Ate Vi’s star quality, you could both see them from a distance and effectively translated unto a printed paper.  I did not even have a photo of Lea Salonga in her pink (or was it lavender?) gown. 

 

But then again, this was an educational tour.  I was educated on a lot of things. 

First, superstardom was not about how great you look or how you were associated with popular people.  It was all about talent.  Hopefully that is still the case.  

 

Second: Do not take photos using a point-and-shoot camera under bright spotlights.  Your subjects will look like they were under a tanning bed for a day.  Good thing cameras are smarter now. 

 

Third:  Save your lifesavings for better stuff and don’t waste it on toys like Thundercats Ultimate Action Figure Lion-O because you will end up wanting a better toy or eating a special meal from the wide selection of restaurants at the mall’s food court because you won’t have any more moolah to spend on anything. 

 

Fourth: Looks can be deceiving, most of the time, but sometimes it is a give-away.  Case in point, Jean “Miss Minchin”/ “Claudia Buenavista” Garcia. 

 

Fifth:  The best way to die is not by throwing up in a bus without ventilation but to fall lifeless and limp by the beachside and being caught by a handsome or beautiful screen partner. 

 

Finally, the most important lesson was what Ate Vi said in the movie before she died:   “Ang ganda ng mundo... Ang sarap mabuhay.” (“The world is beautiful, it’s good to live”).  Then she drops dead in Ariel's arms. 

 

April 13, 2022

Text Copyright May 2022