Jenny Bull of Grace

Ito ang kwento ni Jenny Bull (as usual, not her real name.  Actually, the “Bull” part was an alias.  Let’s pretend that her Chrsitian name is Jenny. At dahil masasama kaming mga nilalalang nung nasa elementary school kami, ginawa naming Bull ang last name n’ya, which was short for Bulldozer, and we’ll get to that later). 

 

Jenny has always been my classmate from kindergarten until high school.  During our early formative years, Jenny was known to be quiet and demure, very lady-like.  In fact, sa Christmas play nung kinder pa kami, she played the Virgin Mary (with bangs).  ‘Nung time na ‘yun, gusto kong maging Joseph, since ‘yun ang pangalan ko, at nag-ambisyon akong mag-pari at one point in my life.  So I felt I deserved any role that was related to the Catholic Church.  Masyado akong papansin.  But I was not chosen to be Joseph.  I became one of the In-Keepers, who would shoo away the Holy Family into the barn, a role which I hated because I was not the star.  May pagka-ambisyoso yata ako nung 6 years old ako. 

And I think, Jenny was chosen because she was pretty.  And the one who played Joseph was another classmate of ours who eventually became a good friend of mine later in life.  He was chosen kasi mestizo s’ya- kumbaga artistahin. ‘Yung kutis ko kasi, either pang-extra or pang-kontrabida, hence the selfish Inn-Keeper. 

I vaguely remember that Nativity play.  Basta ang tumatak talaga sa isip ko ‘yung costume ko na bathrobe at may tali na red sa ulo, at ‘yung picture in Mary and Joseph sa may bahay-kubo which was the stand-in as the barn and the manger. 

Fast forward nung grade six kami, Jenny reprised her role as Mary and I literally lobbied for the role of  Joseph, which was willingly given to me by my friend and the whole class (“Para matigil na s’ya”) during the annual Christmas Lantern parade.  Literal na sinuot ko ang damit ni San Jose sa simbahan kasi ‘yung nanay ko ang unofficial and lonesome Mother Butler Guild ng aming parokya- ‘yung in charge sa sacred vestments ng simbahan kaya may access ako sa damit ng mga santo.  Si Jenny, inulit n’ya lang ang same concept ng kanyang costume.  Blue veil with bangs. 

 

Pero bago ni-revive ni Jenny ang role n’ya as Mary, madami pa s’yang pinagdaanan. 

 

After the Moving Up Ceremony ng Kinder, which was a cute term for graduation and which was also an excuse to dress up the kids and make sayaw at the plaza, Jenny was relegated to the sidelines.  She was very quiet and usually, she delegated herself as the wallflower.  Halos di namin s’ya napapansin.  Well at least ako hindi ko sya napapansin.  Siguro dahil abala ako sa pangongolekta ng “text”- not the messaging system but rather a miniature trading card game that was adapted from popular Regal Films movies. 

Laking gulat na lamang ng buong klase ng biglang isang araw, pinili si Jenny na mag-represent ng aming school sa Miss Health Pagaent.  Nalaglag yata ako sa upuan ‘nun.  Ang tanong ng marami, “Bakit s’ya? E ang tahimik n’ya?”  We were worried that we might lose. 

Pero hindi namin in-expect na kapag si Jenny pala, binigyan ng role, kakaririn n’ya.  Tulad ng pag-career n’ya sa Virgin Mary role. 

During the competition, we waited for her performance at the back of the small conference room where the contest was held.  At muli, nalaglag ako sa upuan ko (kahit nakatayo lang kami sa likod), ng rumampa si Jenny sa stage.  Hindi namin akalain na kaya n’yang mag execute ng model pose and mag perform sa catwalk.  ‘Yung confidence level n’ya, lumagpas sa bubong.  

So kaming buong klase, napa-standing ovation sa kanya (kahit nakatayo na nga kami sa likod), with matching hiyaw and sigaw.  We were so proud of her . 

S’yempre, yung talent portion n’ya was a dance number to the tune of Olivia Newton John’s “Let’s Get Physical”.  At dahil Miss Health Pagaent ‘yun,  it could never be more cliche than that.  Of course, she had to strut the catwalk in a tennis outfit with headband wrapped around her forehead, sported a mini-skirt while holding a tennis racquet which she swung on opposites shoulders dependending which side of the stage she was on. 

 

Sa final showdown, ang buong klase namin ay nawalan ng bait nung ini-execute n’ya ang dance move of the decade: nag-“wave” s’ya mula sa itaas hanggang sa sahig.  We literaly lost our shit. 

 

After the Miss Health phase of Jenny’s life, she was more outspoken, assertive, and free.  Hindi na s’ya wallflower.  In fact, kaya s’ya naging Jenny Bulldozer, kasi para s’yang bulldozer kapag aagawin n’ya ang “base” sa larong Moro-Moro.  She would literally plow the ground to reach the “base” made up by piled up slippers and tsinelases.  And when you tease her the name Jenny Bull, you would literally get smacked in the back close to the point of you coughing out blood from the blunt force of her hands of steel. 

 

At dahil hanggang highschool, classmate ko s’ya, at dahil mahilig akong mang-asar, I was a victim of that brute charisma every now and then.  But the thing about Jenny, she did not hold grudges.  In fact, she was one of the nicest classmates, and eventually friend I have known.  She knew that I have always struggled with Math and she would always teach me, with patience, the mystery of the world in numbers.  And she did not stop teaching me until I understood.  Dahil competetive ang aming nature, may iba kasi akong classmates nuon na nag-withheld ng mga short cuts or tricks in solving problems because I could be a threat to their spot in the honor roll. 

 

I’ve lost interest in striving to be included in the top 10 in high school since I accepted the fact that I could never be stellar in Math and because of some social injustices at the time.  I guess these injustices are part of our lives- even in high school.  But I digress.

 

Up until college, Jenny and I became friends.  I would always visit her dorm just to hang out  with her and sometimes we would go to church together.  She eventually would overtake my status in heaven because she started going to church everyday.  Kahit ako, na dating semenarista, hindi nagsisimba araw-araw, si Jenny, nakatagpo ng peace in going to daily Mass.  I teased her, “Baka naman isang araw mabalitaan ko na bigla ka na lang nag-madre”. 

To which she slapped me back, not the usual violent way, but to emphasize that it was far from the truth. 

 

But one day, I just learned that she did decide to choose the religious life.  For the third time, nalaglag ako sa upuan because of Jenny.  I should have seen it coming, but it still came as a surprise. 

Prior to going into the convent, Jenny went through a sad phase in her life.  Hindi naman ‘yung tipong life-changing reasons, but she did not get what she wanted career-wise.  But then again, was that career path for her in the first place? 

 

Jenny chose to be a nun.  Not your typical nun that was stuck in convent in prayers, but someone who went to the grass roots, mingled with farmers and fishermen, and someone who was in tune with the world.  She let go of material things and chose a life of simplicity and contentment. 

 

A few years later, I met Jenny again together with some other close classmates.  Her skin was darker and hands were callused.  Her hair was cut short to almost a bob and she still wore a hint of the bangs I’ve known she always sported.  She did not don a typical habit but a simple blouse and a skirt, a far cry from the tennis mini-skirt outfit she wore for the Miss Health Contest. 

 

“Kumusta ka na Tong?”, she said.  She hugged me and she looked very happy. 

 

I’ve never seen Jenny so happy in her life.  I felt, that she really found peace and most improtantly, contentment. 

 

Nung binibisita ko pa s’ya dati sa kanyang dorm nung college kami, she always looked tired and frazzled.  Parang lagi s’yang nagmamadali.  She was trying to rush for a non-existent deadline.  And when I saw her again, as the Jenny from kindergarten, she came full circle.  It was hard to describe the happiness that I saw in her smile.  I envy that happiness.  I wanted to feel the same contentment that she had, like she did not need anything more.  Although she had nothing, her cup was not only full but overflowing. 

 

That day, we had a good laugh, and the stories we reminisced were precious.  Jenny was once again the same Jenny from kindergarten.  There were still traces of her former aggressive self when she would lightly tap us if we teased her about her old alias, and  she made the same face everytime the Miss Health story would come up.  Other than that, I saw her like the Mary from our kindergarten’s nativity play- although without the blue veil this time but instead a simple habit, with her signature bangs and a smile full of grace.  

 

February 25, 2021