Third World Problems

Photo Credit: https://www.rappler.com/business/features/38204-watch-closely-how-what-rural-consumers-are-buying

If you come from a third world country and you live a legitimate third world life, then coming to America cannot be a walk in the park for you, because you will feel like you have to navigate through a lot of instant things, ready-made trinkets or techno-laden stuff that makes life easier.  At least that’s how I felt.  Although it may also feel like you are walking through a theme park because you may have the urge to take pictures at every establishment you visit for the first time (say, Target, or if you are feeling a little bit classy, Stein Mart) or document the very first milestone of a chore you accomplish as an immigrant- like doing the laundry in a laundromat or navigating the process of dishwashing using the dishwasher without messing it up (which by the way, I had to Google how to operate).  Well, at least again, that’s what I did.  I documented my struggles, or better yet, my achievements in overcoming the perils of living in the First World, then have it splattered all over my social media. 



I don’t think it is being braggadocious when you are posting your baby steps of your life as an immigrant in the US-I think it is more of telling the world that you are surviving, and you want the world to cheer on with you.  That’s how I look at it. 



You see, life in the Philippines is not easy.  It is a daily struggle.  Ten years ago, the amount of money I earned as PT here for just three weeks was equivalent of about a year’s worth of salary in the Philippines.  Well, this is not factoring direct conversion, the inflation about a decade ago, the means of living, the daily struggles and grind, cultural considerations and all other shenanigans between the two worlds.  But that amount is still saying a lot. 



I was flung into a remote city South of Texas when I first arrived in the US- population 19,000.  I was looking for anyone who would actually have some form of semblance from the people that I learned to know from American TV shows- 90210, MTV, Baywatch or any incarnation of a cookie-cutter version of an Uncle Sam or a Pam Anderson we were introduced to back in the days.  That was when I realized that all demographics were not well represented in TV shows or movies.  And the slow motion running you see at Baywatch?- that was a figment of everyone’s imagination- or better yet fantasies, because no one hardly run- or to say the least, walked. 

Nobody walked- either you are driving a car or driving an electric scooter.  That was when I also stopped walking.  If I chose to walk, the consequences were: either I get ran over at the street, or I get ran over at a grocery aisle (I’m kidding, I still walk at the grocery store). 

I think you look more ridiculous to others if they see you walking on your way to work or to school.  And funny as it may sound, umbrellas only exist in severe weathers.  I say severe because most people would rather run into the rain and get soaked from head to foot than to open an umbrella. 

But an umbrella- in the summer?  You will get all the side glances and glares from everyone.  There is no such thing as an umbrella that protects you from the heat.  Umbrellas are for rain and rain alone.  But from time to time, you see a Filipino mom at Sea World whip out an umbrella in the middle of the day because it is hot as hell and she doesn’t give a shit what other people will think.  South Texas heat, that’s what it is.  It is one devil away from becoming hell. 



I also remember being invited to one my friend’s wedding in Washington DC a few years back.  We were somewhat still fresh meat from the Philippines and all of us were excited because the event would be a big reunion of friends and co-workers.  For most of us, this would be the first time to catch up since we set foot in the US.  The event was momentous on different levels.  First time in DC.  First reunion.  First wedding among friends.  First offensive jokes in many years, which is about the normal for all of us.  It had all the Instagrammable manifestations worthy of a social media presence, however Instagram was not a big thing back then.  But taking pictures were and has always been among Asians.  Especially Filipinos. 

Of course, there was the quintessential OOTD (again it was not a thing back then but it has been a frame of mind for most of us) and the first time we would have a chance take a photo against backdrop of the Capitol, or the Lincoln Memorial or a Ben & Jerry’s.  Seriously, we had to stop and took a groufie in front of this Ice Cream shop like there was none in our separate states and as if we bought something from there, and as if it was a historical marker for the discovery of diabetes in the Free World.  We had to.  And of course, it was not just one shot-then-mov-on-to-the-next-photo-op destination, we took at least 3, or maybe 30 pictures just in case-you know-the angle was not right or someone looked “fat”.  See when we refer to ourselves as “fat” in our pictures, it was not harsh- it was more self-depricating and not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings.  If you come from a Third World country, I think it is like a form of a praise, because you are being fed.  How many times have I heard from my Filipino friends the back-handed compliment of: “Uy tumaba ka” which is literally translated as: You look fatter?  It’s because they know me as a malnourished kid ever since I was born and they seldom see me with a beer belly.  So for me, it is indeed a commendation.  The words are not just politically-correct in these times. 



After the obligatory photo-shoot, we would upload all 325 pictures from our Camera Roll to our DC album in Facebook.  And that was just the DC album- it did not include the other photos we took at the airport or in Maryland or Virginia or anything within a fifty-mile radius. 



The thing about living abroad is that most people think that life is easy.   Again I will tell you, I think what is easy is the way of life, but not life in general.  Life in America seems to have a switch for everything or better yet Alexa-compatible.  If there would only be a command prompt to heal a broken heart: “Hey Siri, from now on I will call you Joe D’ Mango. Now play a sappy music”, then life in the Land of the Free would not be as lonely.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.   You cannot have a switch to turn off any heartaches. 

Not everything is about money.  I know friends who struggled so much with loneliness from being away from their families.  Some have been in a situation wherein they felt trapped- a place where you feel so helpless and all you can depend on is yourself only because you feel you have asked too much from your adoptive Filipino family in the US and you cannot ask them again for more favors because you have asked too much. 

It may sound trivial but when I was starting my life here, I have stressed every single day on how to get to work because I did not know who will take me there because number one: I didn’t have a car, number two: I couldn’t own one because I did not know how to drive and number three, there was no bus or taxi services in my godforsakenmiddleofnowehere town.  Uber was non-existent ten years ago.  Can you imagine, I’ve cried over a ride?  I cried so many times because I did  not know how the hell I can go back home after working my butt off for eight hours, then stressing all over again the next day because I knew that it was a cycle. 



A lot of people did not see the struggles of OFWs because most of the time, we will put out only happy things on social media.  So sometimes it is annoying to get a random message from an acquaintance-not even a friend, to borrow money from you (which you know in your heart, will end up not being returned), because they think that you sh*t cash (pardon the expletive, but I am using a common term I always hear from other Filipinos), just to be tagged as a selfish friend because you did not provide.  I am so much willing to help, really.  I will gladly give to people who at least try and make an effort; or to donate to an organization who deserves it and is championing a valid and sincere cause.  I just brace myself sometimes that I won’t get branded as the unkind one for being “selfish” because I am to bourgeois.     



I personally feel that we all have different struggles in life no matter which side of the globe we are on.  And sometimes I think that my struggle is directly proportional to what I can handle.  I can never imagine the challenges and hardships that my friends had to go through all these years. 

I don’t think it would matter where you are once you are faced with problems- I think what matters is how you deal with them. 



Although, it really amazes me how Filipinos survive life in the harshest way possible, sometimes even with a smile on their faces, and without having the urge to murder the person seated next to them because someone just ruined a few minutes of an already hard life. 



When I was living and working in the Philippines, I was not able to save a lot of money.  I was living from one pay check to the next and just barely making enough to help my family and pay the bills.  But I was happy and contented.   I could still drink and be merry with my friends as if life was a beach. 



We got by, we survived and we were happy.  Back then, we didn’t plan our vacations three months in advance, in fact, we could go spend the weekend in a remote island, out of the blue and on a whim without worrying about what will happen when Monday arrives.  Most of the time, if I take a break here, I still feel that I need a vacation from my vacation. 



But a vacation in a Third World country is still something special.  It is a place I once called home.  Even though sometimes it feels old and antiquated, I always feel humbled every time I come back to visit because it reminds me of who I was, who I have become and how I became. 



For us who came from the Third World, we saw that the road was not easy, but we still chose to take that road, with bare hands and no switch at all. 

May 21, 2020